Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
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She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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