Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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