I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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