I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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