You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
