I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
