More tranny stories later!
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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