do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
