i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
