Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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