Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
