Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
