Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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