Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
