This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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