My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
