do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
