Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
