Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
