I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
