The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
