Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
