So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
