Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
