carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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