Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
