Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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