You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
