how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
