You made me cry and you don't even care
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
And then the night went full on bisexual.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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