I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The best revenge is premature balding
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
