I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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