how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
