yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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