Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
