It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
