So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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