Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
