i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize