You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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