# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
