You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
