I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
