So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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