At least make sure they are 18
Why
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
