I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
