Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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