Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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