my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize