so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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