i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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