Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
