Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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