I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
