UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
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it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
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Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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