Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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