You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
