it hurts more in the daytime
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
