So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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