Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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