Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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