Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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