Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
