I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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